Story #3: Bad Habits are Hard to Break
started by @ambersimmons on Saturday, March 13 at 04 PM
Let me offer you a hard-won piece of advice: cheerleaders make terrible pallbearers.
they are,however, suprisingly good eulogists.
You probably thought cheerleaders couldn't spell eulogy, much less give one. They can. "E-U-L-O-G-Y EULOGY!" Then, cupie.
Pompons & funerals are a tricky combination, but backed by a video montage of the deceased's life, they do build team spirit.
Not that this crowd needed much in the way of cheering up. I'd thought Sister Earnest was beloved, but apparently not.
The way these Catholics-cum-cheerleaders were carrying on, you'd think it was a pep rally with a really bad dress code.
The polyester din made my head throb. I went outside to catch my breath.
A frail, disheveled woman ran almost right into me, her habit askance, her eyes darting left and right. The Mother Superior.
"You're even worse at contract killing than pallbearing," she said. "The second alternate survived." I checked my watch.
"Now, are you going to fix this, or am I?" She added, reaching into the dark folds of her habit. I gulped.
She had her phone ready. “No,” I said firmly, “I got this.” 'Our Lady of Grace' was my best client. I couldn't mess this up.
I threw my rosary over her head and stunted her under the bleachers. "Mea culpa, Mother, but the Society must win. Go team!"
